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Through the years, I have learned there are four major life changes we go through that require a lifestyle overhaul:

First Quarter: Moving out of your parents home into college life or real life. You will now need to shop for groceries, learn to cook meals for at home and away, and do your own laundry. Simple things that occurs every day and every week, but learning to shop, taking a page out of your parents’ book on timing, selection, and prep are everything.

Second Quarter: Out of college into your first job, apartment, or new city. Budgeting is everything. You have a taste of the basics, now it’s time to get serious about what to eat, when to eat it, how to stay mobile, and plan financially to achieve the goals you want in life. Very important to use every resource you have available in family, friends, co-workers, mentors, etc. as they won’t all be around forever.

Third Quarter: Family Planning. Change comes when that little nugget comes into the world. More change occurs when you are tired, need diapers, need laundry, etc. Bills back up, meals get unpredictable, sleep never happens. When you are more regimented and communicate better with The Village, it will all be easier to handle. Plan, Plan, Plan. Calendars are everything and timing is everything. We are grown versions of babies, so when we get their clocks right, we can better see where your needs come from and can be met head on to relieve extra stress.

Fourth Quarter (but there is always room for overtime): Empty Nesters. Your world changes back to the beginning when you are alone again and need to find your center. Take the time, explore, recreate home-made meals for one or two and enjoy the time you are given. There is always the strong chance, those buggers will move back home again. Enjoy!

Helping people for 20 years go through any and seemingly all changes has been a breeze. Going through changes by myself through moves, job titles, relationships, etc. seemed simple enough. When you’re on the other side, of course. The last 2 years have taught me what “trying” means. Trying to be focused, trying to stay strong, trying times try and break you in every way. Here is what I’ve always taught, but now know are the step that work when big changes come:

1. Breathe. You can’t think straight when your brain has no oxygen. Take a few deep breaths and assess the situation. If it’s health-related, call your doctors, insurance, and family for support. If it’s financial, map it out and make a plan on how to attack it. If it’s a move, call your Mother and let her help. You aren’t alone no matter how you feel. People are in your corner and available to physical or emotionally help you through this time.
2. Journal. I live for celebrations and plan special events for any occasion as they are few and far between. Start where you are and know where you would like to be. As Steve Harvey says, “there is no straight line in Nature”. You may not end up where you want to be, but you will be where you need to be when the time comes. I like to journal along the way so you can celebrate. In fitness, we help individual’s grow, shrink, change shape, etc. If photos aren’t taken each month, it’s difficult to put into words the successes along the way. Visuals and written entries are valuable in celebrations when you achieve your goals.
3. Let it go. Holding on to stresses, anger, clutter all add to more negative than good. No job is easy and it takes consistent effort and time to work through. The one mental moment where you are able to “Move on” and take that first step forward is so relieving and building, it will get the momentum headed in the right direction. My best friend is from Zimbabwe and for 20 years when I feel “stuck”, she talks me off the ledge and says, “Haba na haha, hujaza kebab” which is a proverb meaning “Little by little, the container/pot gets filled.” Small steps every day will get you to your first goal…but where will you go from there?

A cute quote, “It’s okay to be a glowstick. Sometimes we have to break before we shine.” Life is full of changes and growth and some backsteps, then more growth. As long as you keep moving, your support system and list of “tries” will keep you headed in a positive direction. Don’t give up, keep your head up and one step at a time.